So, Monday has passed, so time to write about Monday, what I’ve done and how I felt. I don’t think it was my best day, because I relapsed a bit, but I hasn’t been the worst day. I will start by telling my weight, and then tell about the rest of the day, in order.
The group leader woke me up at 7.30 AM for the usual weighting time. I was second in line. When I walked in the room I was a kind of nervous and had the feeling to walk away, but in the end I didn’t. One part of me was afraid of gaining weight, the other part was afraid that I didn’t achieve my goal of gaining 1 kg per week. So, it had two sides. – Well I stepped on the scale… it stopped at 48.1. Exactly 1 kg. I was kind of flabbergasted because last week didn’t go well, because I skipped a lot of meals and snacks. The group leader and me both were surprised. I had to give it some time to settle.
After the weighting time we had breakfast, that was yogurt with cereal. I find it hard to start with eating but when I start, it’s easier for me to go on.
At 11.00 AM the DEX started. The group talked about the week, what you have achieved, what went wrong. And they give you a compliment and give some advice for you.
Compliment: Good that you’ve tried to eat a whole warm meal (and sometimes done it)!
Advice: Do not compensate, even if it’s hard to resist it.
Okay, hereby, I already failed, because I compensate already. Because during the DEX we had an exposure. A hard one, namely a roll with minced-meat ball or a croquette. I chose a minced-meat ball. My mind was turning and turning, and it was very hard to keep smiling. The eating disorder hit me.
We usually have a starters group but because of meetings, it expired. Next week there’s one coming up.
Thereby I had a panic attack and I was knock out for a few minutes. Gladly the group leader came to look at me which felt good actually.
The rest of the day went well. I ate dinner quickly. They were happy to see me eating faster.
So this is kind of a summary of Monday. Hope you enjoyed reading it.